All ways the best Ledge ,i love the heated pool

     jeff

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' 

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' 

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' 

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.' 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' 

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.' 

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' 

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.' 

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' 

               (I love this part)

'Only when he's been drinking.!!'  

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.  I saw how he kissed your neck ... if he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain ... do whatever he tells you.  Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous.  If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck.  He was whispering in my ear.  He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.  I told him it was in the bathroom.  Be strong honey .........I love you too."

good one Timmo!!!!

between the sheep and the cat in the shower is Till with his PB clownfish!!!

Can't be Ryan, its not jagged, lol.

Haha! Good one

Language Warning

But....