The Best Genie Joke In The World Ever!!!!!!

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'


So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.


A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'


'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.


'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'


Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'


'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'


'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.








   
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.


'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'


    'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'


The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'


She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'


You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'




So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.


   


    The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'


'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.




   
'No Kidding,' he said.




    


  'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'

GOLD Tony fucking gold. hahahaha

Women should be more like golf caddies.... Either playing with your balls or getting your Tee!

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be
when she grows up. She said she wanted to be prime minister of Australia.

Both of her parents, Labor Supporters, were standing there. So
I asked her, "If you were prime minister, what would be the first thing you
would do?" She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people... "

Her parents proudly beamed. "Wow...what a worthy goal," I told
her. "But you don't have to wait until you're prime minister to do that. Tell
you what - you can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds,
and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to
the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him
the $50 to use toward food and a new house. How about doing something
wonderful like that?"

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me
straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over
and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Liberal party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

You beauty I bloody love fridays funnys. Tony halliday and the genies is def a ten out of ten along with bod's julia gillard joke and alan james labour party joke just to top it off haha pearla. good work fellas