Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2016-02-12 07:20
Enjoy 
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Noxious
Posts: 504
Date Joined: 22/12/11
87
87
ricey
Posts: 740
Date Joined: 24/12/09
the answer is...
there is no card...
Wise man says - first take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take the speck out of somebody else's.
crasny1
Posts: 7006
Date Joined: 16/10/08
Well spotted
Proves the brain does funny things with cues like the car parked, then ask about the card, but the brain automatically ignores what it sees as making no sense!!
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact!!" _ Elon Musk
Hutch
Posts: 2221
Date Joined: 21/04/13
I was wondering if that was
I was wondering if that was a typo or if it was the answer
bellony
Posts: 94
Date Joined: 27/01/10
Cover all bets. There is no
Cover all bets. There is no card, and the car is parked in 87.
kelsea
Posts: 134
Date Joined: 14/02/12
Ocean bound is where I'll be found
kelsea
Posts: 134
Date Joined: 14/02/12
Short Jokes
Sensitivity Training Needed
1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.
2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.
3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
5. The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
6. A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
7. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
8. My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
9. The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said, "We'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway."
10. WARNING!!! IF YOU GET AN EMAIL TITLED, "NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON", DON'T OPEN IT. IT CONTAINS A nude photo of Hillary Clinton.
Ocean bound is where I'll be found
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
A man walks down the street, limping and dragging his foot.
He sees another fellow approaching, also limping and gingerly dragging his foot.
At last the two men face each other and stop.
The first man says, "Vietnam, 1970."
The second man explains, "Dog Shit, 10 minutes ago."
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf