Friday Funnys


Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 One day, while going to the

Sat, 2015-12-05 02:41

 One day, while going to the shop, I passed by a retirement village. On the front lawn were six old ladies, lying naked on the grass.

I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way.

On my return trip, I passed the same retirement village with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the better of me and I went inside to talk to the retirement village Administrator, and asked her?


Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?
Yes, she said, "aren't they darlings? They're retired prostitutes - they're having a garage sale.

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 1981 & 2005 - Two

Sat, 2015-12-05 02:43

 1981 & 2005 - Two Interesting Years
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

Lesson to be learned:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 15040

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Ha ha some good one's there

Sat, 2015-12-05 07:15

 Ha ha some good one's there Ledge

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Love the West!

Krusty's picture

Posts: 714

Date Joined: 27/11/15

I know it's not Friday ......but

Sat, 2015-12-05 07:38

 

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My fishing spots are so secret........... even the fish don't know where they are !!

Posts: 286

Date Joined: 21/07/14

 A Russian and an Irish

Sun, 2015-12-06 07:07

 

  1. A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.'

    The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

    Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on
    top of him, making the pin and winning the match.

    The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'

    The wrestler answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.'

    The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?'

    'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.’