Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2015-01-30 07:21
Enjoy 
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Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Fark!! It's Friday already. Very good Ledge.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
The Saint
Posts: 475
Date Joined: 30/01/13
Sex After Surgery"You'll be
Sex After Surgery
"You'll be fine," the doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.
But, she asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex
life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down
his cheek from the corner of his eye. The girl was alarmed.
"What's the matter Doctor?
I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine… it's just that no one has ever asked me
that after having their tonsils out."
dano83
Posts: 790
Date Joined: 25/05/12
Sperm clinic
an armed robber decided to hold up a sperm donation clinic,
he pumped two shots in the air and demanded the woman behind the counter to drink a vial of sperm if she wanted to live.
she hurried over to the shelf picked up a vial and knocked it back in one gulp.
The gunman then proceeded to take his mask of from his face.
As he was peeling it back the lady realised this man was her husband. Shocked standing there silent.
He then said to her "see it it wasn't that f$@king hard was it.
solly
Posts: 375
Date Joined: 11/09/05
Welfare check
A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque.
He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare.
I'd really rather have a job.
I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL,
and he will supply all of your clothes."
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your
job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in
her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said,
"You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well... You started it."
There are two types of people ,do'ers and watchers
Right now the do'ers are the doing it
And the watchers are watching us do it
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Ha very funny and probably so true.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
Paul H
Posts: 2104
Date Joined: 18/01/07
Be very careful what you
Be very careful what you buy on eBay.
If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.
A friend has just spent $800 plus GST on a penis enlarger
The bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
The only instructions were 'Do not use in direct sunlight.'
Youtube Channel - FishOnLine Productions
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbUVNa-ViyGm_FTDSv4Nqzg/videos
Perfish
Posts: 103
Date Joined: 15/11/11
So it's all in the eye of
So it's all in the eye of the holder.....
Man with line in water catches fish!
You only get what you always got if you only do what you've always done!
Deleted
Posts: 6265
Date Joined: 26/04/14
remove if inappropriate
remove if inappropriate
bod
Posts: 2321
Date Joined: 03/05/06
Maybe