Drank to much gatorade along the way!

This exact thing happened to a couple of mates doing the Avon descent. But at least the trots was hidden in their kayaks.

Notice to self - "Dont drink to much non dilute energy drink during the race"

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favourite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where the F### I am now...

 LOL.

This penguin is driving along the Rockingham foreshore in his little penguin car when all of a sudden it dies. He manages to push it into a mechanic. The mechanic pops the hood on the penguin's car and squints through the escaping steam. "Well, it will take me a few minutes to figure out what's wrong with it," says the mechanic, "why don't you go wait across the street at the ice cream shop?" So the penguin heads over to get some ice cream. He orders his favorite flavor: vanilla. He's really digging in, it's great ice cream. When he's finished, he heads back over to the mechanic. The mechanic looks over the hood, shaking his head. "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin blushes and wipes off his beak saying, "No, no... It's only ice cream."

 An oldie but a goodie Chris.

This err, lets say slightly overwieght chap heads to the g.p to seek some advice about

diets , and loosing some of the flab.

Tell me doctor whats the best thing to do in my situation, he asks

The doctor replys, '' Dont eat anything fatty"'

Oh you mean stay away from the pies and chips and pizza,s the man asks ?

No says the doctor '' I meant dont eat anything,--------fatty!.

A salad dodger turns up to the doc for the results
Doc says " we have done bloods, scans and biometry and it would appear that you are a fat bastard. Patient says 'I want a second opinion doc says "sure you are also extremely ugly"

This potato is sitting at a bar having a few beers and trying to chat up the gorgeous looking blushing tomato barmaid.
Unknown to him but watching through the door from the next bar was the blushing tomato's Punk Carrot boyfriend and his weird hairdo mates.
When the spud got up to go to the dunny for a leak Punk Carrot and his mates followed and gave him the biggest mashing of his life.
Poor old Spud woke up in hospital two weeks later with Dr Celery looking down at him and said " I have some good news and some bad news, which to you want first?"
Spud thought for a minute then said, "give me the good news first Doc"

Dr Celery said" well we managed to save some of your eyes so you won't be completely blind is the good news and the bad news is that you are going to be a vegetable for the rest of your life!"