The cat is rank.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=280501782086814&set=vb.552479714780967&type=2&theater

 Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult

to handle.  Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.

The Gorilla was on heat...

To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species

available.

While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Graham,

a big Kiwi lad & former All Black, responsible for fixing the Zoo's  machinery.

Graham, like most Kiwis, seemed to be possessed with ample ability to

satisfy a female of any species.

So the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.

Graham was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have

Sex with the gorilla for $500?

Graham showed some interest, but said he would have to think the  matter over carefully.

The following day, Graham announced that he would accept their offer,

but only under three conditions:

'Fust,' he said, 'I don't want to have to kuss'er.'

'Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thus.'

The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they

asked what his third condition was.

'Wull,' said Graham, 'You gotta give me another week to come up with

the $500.

 CHEWING

GUM!



An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter
and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. 



The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. 



The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole
bread?' 



The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' 



The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. ?The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia .' 



The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence. 



The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the
Australian replied, 'of course.' 



Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the
States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds
and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and
sell it to Australia ..

The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?'



The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'



'We throw them away, of course!'



Now it was the Australians turn to smile.



'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States . Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'?

Classic as usual Ledge

 Fark me, that is not how I would be getting that hook removed.

Haha

 I was starting to get a bit stressed this afternoon, I was hanging out for FF's since this morning and I didn't think they were coming.

cheers

Dale

How tough are Australian men??

The scene is set: a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky.

Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire, One from Australia , one from Seth Efrika and one from New Zulland.

Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous.

The night of tales begins…

Kiven the Kiwi says, ‘I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends’

Hansie from Seth Efrika (who typically can’t stand to be bettered) said, ‘Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it’s head off ind then sucked the poison from it’s body down in one gulp. End I’m still here today’

Colin, the Tough Australian, remained silent, slowly stoking the fire with his penis.

 C'mon guys, we don't need crap like that on here.

Dale

HAHAHAHAHAHAH, now that's art Beau. Hay Dale, atleast mine is to do with fishing!

nothing like a bit of doggy style at a wedding!!!

Yep agree, you seem to have a bit of a fascination with that Beau...delete it

Hey Beau, that aint even funny mate; are you 16? 

all classics