start off with a light one, playing basketball on outdoor concrete(the two dont mix too well) had my legs taken from underme wen i jumped up, anyway a broken elbow and a stainless steel rod in my arm later.... and u think hitting your funny bone is bad;)

had a bike accident broke most shit lol long time in hospital longer in plaster, just had shoulder recon still in sling caused by fall on stairs

had a few (too many) bevos, then dislocated my shoulder trying to tip a cow with a running hip and shoulder, and decided to "whack in back in place" like Riggs (Mel Gibson) did in Lethal Weapon by smashing my limp shoulder into a door frame repeatedly until someone said stop your making me feel sick.

End result was a pretty well busted shoulder and a re-con. Not the end to leavers week I had planned......

haha classic!!

Broke radius and ulna in both arms racing motocross.

straight armed on the wheel. That was 7 years ago and they still hurt every now and then. Dont know if its an acco or incident but 6 weeks with ross river virus hurt me hard.

few years back i was pretending to do a big speedway motor bike slide around a bitumen road on a pushy in front of my so called mates only i couldnt get my foot down in time and used my knee cap instead , stripped all the skin and flesh of from around my knee cap and adjoining leg bone, local bush doctor thought he could stitch me up again , 128 knots across my knee cap trying to hold all the flesh back in , until four days later , did the commando  parachute jump off the neighbours roof with me mates and tore all of the stiches out and ended up in hospital and had a skin graft from my butt and wasnt allowed to walk for three months. all good now just struggle to kneel down

A mate of mine who is not a fisho but an ex WA state champion shooter whilst practising a dicipline which involved drawing a handgun from a holster and shooting at the target asap had a mishap when the handgun didn't clear the holster cleanly and after a grab with the hand to retrieve the situation he managed to fire a round clean thru his foot (38 calibre I think). 

Maybe I've got a sick sense of humour. 

Spun an EH holden out and went backwards into a drain at 90mph--not kph,went end over end,finished up 240 feet from impact.Smashed the top of L4 in lower spine,spent 8 weeks flat on my back before being let out of bed to learn to walk again,talk about headspins.Ended up 1/2 inch shorter.
20 years back got flash burns covering 40% of body in an industrial accident.Clearing a chute between a high temp kiln and cooler when mineral came free causing a fireball with me in it.Burns to face,both forearms,chest,one hip and parts of both legs,luckily only one small patch of 3rd degree and the rest all 1st and 2nd degree.
Was in hospital for 2 weeks before I looked in a mirror and saw this ugly swollen black head looking back at me.looked over my shoulder to see who was standing behind me---nurse cracked up.
Ended up with a few scars and some snow white patches where the melatonin in the skin was burnt off.Had been in 3 weeks and asked wife for a cigarette,she asked the sister on duty.She asked the missus to go outside for a minute and proceeded to burn whatever skin I had left calling me everything but smart for wanting to smoke again.Haven't had one since and never intend to even be tempted

in my knees, my right shoulder is still out of its socket, but te most painful injury I ever suffered was from a skateboard accident.
I was trying to show off to a few young ladies when I was a 14 year old and decided to take my old skateboard down this hill which had an angle of about 45 degrees. I was pretty confident that I could make it as I had done it a few times before.
Unfortunately, what I didn't realise was that a mate who had borrowed my board had loosened the tracks to do some trick riding. Anyway, the start of the ride was going nicely and I knew I was going pretty quick when I raced past a few cars - then the death wobbles hit and as much as I tried to keep it straight I just knew I was a goner - so I leapt off the board and tried to run - pretty hard to do when the board was going so fast.
Anyway, as I hit the road surface I mananged to roll onto my back and then slid for what seemed like miles until I finally stopped. My t-shirt had been completely shredded and I had lost a few layers of skin in that slide and the large crowd that had come to watch me do this stupid stunt turned white as one and took off.
However, the worst part was to come. We had our Grand Final that afternoon and I knew my dad and my coach would kill me. So when I got home I ducked straight in my room and grabbed a red t-shirt, all my rugby gear and headed to the ground so I could change before everyone else got there.
I felt every tackle and and every scrum that day.
And my dad still killed me and chopped up skateboard with an axe.

well i rolled my ankle once .

most pain i have been in though was being injected with hypertonic salt water into my achillies tendon and into my elbow!

While doing my time as a roof chippie I was holding a rafter up while the boss nailed it, he slipped and put a 4" nail into my right hand. I fell off the top of a semi-tipper trailer after putting the tarp on and broke my leg, 9 weeks off work. Had a bloke park his car under the front of a cab-over truck I was driving, dislocated my right shoulder on the seatbelt and the steelcap in my workboot was crushed down on my left foot and broke my big toe, the other bloke had to be cut out of his 3 week old V8 Calais. Was helping a new and very green "2up" driver hookup to the second trailer, he rolled back at the wrong time and got the end of my right thumb crushed by the handle of the Ringfeder. 

Worst fishing accident i've been involved in, was when i was up at Horrocks with two mates throwing twisty's from the dinghy for tailor, when i accidently snagged my mate right in the middle of his nose with a 65gram twisty and i had a fair few beers by this stage and nearly ripped his nose off his face with a really over exhubirent cast. It was a last minute trip so i only had a rusty pair of pliers in the bottom of the boat to try and cut the trebles off the twisty. Worst thing was myself and my other mate where in really bad shape and couldn't drive the car back, so my mate with half a twisty hanging out of his head had to put the tinny back on the trailer by himself and then drive himself to the hospital in Northhampton. Once he got backed from hospital (3 hours later) he then imformed that cutting the treble off about 5mm from his nose was not the best idea as the doctor took over an hour trying to yank it out of his face. Ooops, still feel a little guilty.

Well just got out of hospital on Saturday had to have a palm frond removed from my index finger it had gone through the tendon and the plastic surgions advised me afterwards that the tip had actually punctured the bone 9 stitches later and never helping the wife with the gardening again.

playing rugby got smashed by about 5 blokes 1 landed on my leg and made it bend the wrong way pulling the ligament out. it looked good when i watched the video later

on waneroo road just north of the bottle shop comin back from two rocks - few bruises and sctratches 

Got a smashed 5th Metacarpal in my left hand and a fractured scull in a mine accident up in Southern Cross back in 87, was knocked out cold and almost fell into the main road hopper feeding the jaw crusher, loader driver pulled me out in time. Still have night mares about that. Snapped my ACL in my right knee back in 81 on Fremantle oval, still bump into people who reckon they heard it go.

Cheers
Dale

blackout for two days in the hospital for preventing the football from entering the goal with me face. silly me...

Back in Feb 1978 I spun a full race Escort Mexico 8 times then slammed it into a electrical fuse box, that supplied a whole suburb, which flipped the car into the air, smashed it into a retaining wall and ended upside down in a drain.  Took the rescue guys over an hour to cut me out of the car.

Was in a coma for 2 days, 9 broken ribs, broken left knee, hip snapped into 3 pieces, 3 vertebra fractured and steering wheel imprinted on my chest.  Doctors to my folks in the meantime that if I woke up, I would never walk again.

Needless to say the car was totaled, the driver's side A pillar was pushed past where the passenger's side A pillar was and the car looked like a Chinese fortune cookie.

Was in a wheel chair in 40 days, in crutches in 46 and drove again in 49 days - still in crutches, took me most of the year to recover, the doctors could not believe it.

wow.... some of you have been busted up!!!!!

Worst 'accident' i can think of was flipping a tinny at hamelin bay on the beach with 3 people in the boat. Everyone walked away, probably shouldnt have tho.

when i was younger surfing down south got smashed foot got stuck in the reef & snapped & dislokated my ankle my foot was pointing backwards 8 months out of the water

then 2 years ago stuffed a move up kitesurfing landed chest first into my board broke 2 ribs cracked 2 & split my sternam hurt like hell

Looks like Ruggers has accounted for a few injuries! My hardly illustrious career came to a brief end with a simple don't argue fend off which resulted in me popping my left shoulder out. Interesting drive when I tried to get myself to the emergency department in an old manual hilux with no power steering!!

Mark79: hilarious mate, pissed myself reading that

I have to show my wife this subject. I was beginning to think i was an unlucky B*#$^*@d! But you lot have restored my faith in that it isn't just me that does stupid stuff!

Catchalittle, i feel your pain with the palm spike. Been there done that,shit it hurts!

Probably one of the latest serious accidents was using an angle grinder with a slitting disc 1mm thick & slipped & cut length ways down my finger, splitting it in two giving me six fingers on my left hand! Wife was pregnant & we were due to fly out that night on holiday! Not popular!

After catching my first Marlin and deciding to get it cast for the wall. We decided to take some photos. Being late afternoon the sun was low so we thought we should string the Marlin up from the fly bridge by the tail. So with a rope over the fly bridge rail I gave a big heave and got a nice big 12/0 stainless hook embeded in the middle of my heel.

Fractured skull from a stack, bruised retina and split eyeball from impact, countless stitches, 11 broken bones , had metal drilled out my eye.
Most painful had to be 3 broken ribs that was more pain than kicking a guy in the head while i had bare feet and snapped a toe loL!

and landed on my right wrist which folded back on me, broke/fractured a total of seven bones including the floating bone under the thumb (schapoid). resulted in internal bleeding that compressed the nerves in my hand and was the worst pain i have experienced, hell on earth. Ended up in plaster, fingertips to elbow for 12 months. 

Caught a 3kg tailor on a 65mm river2sea bubble popper a few years ago. Anyway, held his head down with one hand while trying to pull the trebles out with a pair of pliers - he started kicking - my thumb slipped in his mouth... tailor bit down... treble & tailor teeth in the thumb. Had to knock the fish senseless to get the mouth open.

Went to hospital to get the treble out & fix up the hole in my thumb.

Good learning experience though - always flatten your barbs!!!!!!!!!

got a lower backinjury  from work last year while placing rio mesh,cos the young guy behinnd me tried to walk around me,while we were carrying the sheet of mesh,instead of following in a straight line,causing my lower back to twist doing damage to my l4 and l5 disks with muscle damage.i have returned back 2 my concretting job in febuary this year,under strict doctors orders e.g no lifting more than 20kg,no twisting,using my legs to lift,also using a long handled shovel to dig,im slowly recovering,still getting physio ,but paying 4 myself,because qbe dont want to pay 4 it since the 6 of august this year,as far as their concerned i dont need it.my doctor says i need physio and im still waiting for the specialist my doctor refered me to.as far as im concerned,im not signing off and qbe can pay my medical bills via workcover.

didnt happen to me but happend when i was working deck on a charter boat a few years ago in brisbane. a guy just caught a wahoo and was holding it up for a photo when it kicked out of his hands, the teeth dug into his neck and ripped all the way down to the inside of his leg. needed to be airlifted of the deck by coast guard helicopter..... there was alot more blood to wash off the boat then usuall that day.

Hi Ya,

Wrote off an SLR5000 virtually headon with a Z900 country road at night time.  I was overtaking a car at the time.  The bike had no lights on so simply didn't see him.  Unfortunately the bike rider died.  My missus very nearly died, the pillion passenger suffered multiple fractures below knee where he got slammed between the car and bike.  I had three bruises.  Two passengers in the rear had no injury one with a minor concussion.

Front end of the car was pulled around to the left so violently the bell housing was snapped off the motor and the impact through the drive train shattered all the gears in the diff.  I was only travelling at approx 100km/h.

Somehow my brother (who was on a bike behind me) managed to get through the accident scene without getting hit with anything.  He never saw the oncoming bike either.

So, I suppose that makes me a road statistic.

Cheers.

All my accidents/incidents seem minor after reading some of these posts....
1. 16 stitches in 2 fingers after going through a glass door. Waited 6 hours in emergency waiting for specialist to come sew flap on little finger that peeled back and showed bone.
2. Whiplash after wrecking a speedway sedan... 3 months in neck brace.
3. Dislocated shoulder that took doc 3 days to reset after rolling wife's (then fiance) brand new corolla.
4. Sciatica (spell check) after doing a disk L5/L6 from memory and bulge pressing on nerve... did it re-hanging a door after painting it. Took 3 to 4 months to fix.
Won't feel like a woose next time LOL.
Cheers,
David

wow, Alfred wins hands down,

Dale

Tore my rotacuff playing squash, needed 4 months off work and a three day stint in the hospital... not fun

Was a kid in South Africa and paddling out a livie for my father into a chanel too far to cast. Trying to catch SAs equivalant of Mulloway. The livie was in a bucket between my legs and Dads reel was an old Penn overhead.

Well I was out of hearing distance when the crows nest struck. I just kept paddling away when suddenly the livie with a 10/0 attached, jumped out of the bucket, buried the hook in my mid thigh and proceeded to rip up my thigh.

With screams, frantic back paddling etc it finally stopped with a hook next to my scrotum, a mullet slapping my balls to shit and a 12inch rip up my thigh.

Just added this as it is fishing related.

Left shoulder fractured and dislocated by Geoff Stook, the man who got us the Force. Him hitting you in a Rugby game hurts like shit.

Neels

Nothing anywhere near as bad as Alfred or anyone else really, but quite stupid all the same.

We were lopping a massive tree at the back of my parents place when I was about 17. My bro-in-law was up the tree with a chainsaw, he had rigged a pully system from another branch so we could lower the branch he was lopping slowly to avoid crushing Dad's vegie patch.

Dad and I were on the rope, (me up front and dad behind). The branch was severed and we braced for the weight. Unfortunately the branch was heavier than both of us put together and dad let go, me being the tough 17 year old hung on for dear life thinking dad was still behind me, as the old rope raced upward at 100mph tearing through my hands. I raced up at maybe 20mph before finally letting go of the rope some 20m above the ground.

I landed with a thud and rolled my ankle, Ouch!

took one look at my hands and nearly passed out. The rope had burnt them to the bone almost. A very sensitive part of the body to have a burn I can assure you.

Other than that, no bones broken so far (touch wood).

3 big car accidents, rolled my first car a little gemini along calder hwy in melb, rolled the car about 8 times coming to a stop on the roof, the other 2 guys got out , i was unconsious and had to be woken up, fuel everywhere, power still going, there was a shitload of cops ambos fire attend, all i got was a few scratches and a couple of stitches in the head very very lucky the 3 of us.

2nd was when i was cut off by a tow truck driver on hume hwy and smashed head on into a traffic light pole in a xe station wagon putting the pole right into the middle of the engine bay, all i got was some pretty bad bruising from the seatbelt and a few stitches along my right eyebrow, again very lucky

and the 3rd one i was over here in perth on holidays for 4 weeks so decided to drive the LTD over from melbourne, 1 week before we were going home i was towing a large trailer along canning hwy and tboned a taxi doing an illegal turn, i hit him that hard that i flipped him upside down and onto my roof as i slammed into a lightpole, again just a couple of scratches, but no car to drive home and had to catch the bus back to melb, and oh what fun that was ......NOT 

and even after all that i still have never broken any bones yet touch wood

P-plater failed to stop and give way as I was belting down the hwy on my mountain bike.

slammed into side of car and took full imapct on my lower jaw. Bounced backwards and landed in middle of hwy..... (thankfully not run over...)

completely broke my lower jaw and all the skin on my chin was just hanging on.......

didn't realy bother me until I met a mates friend the other week and by sheer coincidence it was her husband that was the car behind me and saw the whole thing plus provided me first aid.......it shook him up for three days and he has asked to meet me considering the state he saw me in.....it still freaks him out

cops where laughing at the damage I did to the suberu when they came and saw me in emergency.....did a nice job apparently......

never broke a bone but cracked plenty

.

while hunting in south africa we always go rabbit chasing at night. its basiccly just finding rabbits with a spot light and chasign them down diving and catching them.

one night we started running after one.. i didnt see a warhog hole and tripped in it and face planted.. now thats not bad enough because the next one i chased again and almost did the same but this time caught the rabbit. when i dove on it it bit me just under the nipple. yes it hurt like a b!@*ch. then still no enough then on a few rabbits l8er just when i got out of the car the rabbit moved and they turned the car towards it. me hidng in the shadow of the car so the rabbit doesnt see me didnt notice this and the bmw x5 almost wetn straight over my ankle but luckly when i shouted out he reversed.. couldndt walk for about 2 days and after that could barley walk.. still ended up shooting a warhog of the car though(not my usuall style) but hey i would do it all again cause it was fun

Drunk, surf fishing, 2am, no fishing action so attempted a back flip off the bullbar of my rodeo wearing waders and a dolfin torch hanging around my neck on a short rope - broke me watch and supprisingly only chipped my teeth (on the torch)!

Stupid bugger - Mitta seen it, he thought it was pretty funny!

motorcycles are my passion and downfall.
7am, 10th May 1984, on a mountain pass, very tricky and twisting, I hit a rock-rabbit ( Dassie) looks like a Quoka, but found in Africa. I was doing about 200~220km/hr heading into a very long right hand sweeping corner, the bloody thing got stuck in the front mag and jammed the wheel and I cartwheeled the bike. Biggest bit of the Honda was the engine block!... I was fine sliding down the road, till the bend sent me into a drainage gully! One very badly broken Tib/Fib right leg.... 7 months in plaster cast from ankle to hip and one year nearly on crunches!!!..oh and I was not insured...like most students in those days.. :-(

Car wise I have been pretty lucky so far...nothing major, just my mate rolling my Ford Cortina UTE ( yes we got the cortina in ute form in South Africa) happened at about 140km/hr when he changed the tape in the deck ( yes I'm that old) and touched the gravel. He ended up with a broken arm when it went through the window, I walked away with a mile wide skid mark in my pants!!!! lol

Rolled Landcruiser back in 1984. Going up a hill in Perth foothills when the brakes failed. Rolled backwards towards the "T" junction we just turned off, and as there was a steep fall down the hill, I decided to turn the wheel to turn right, given the speed rolling backwards, and the momentum turning the corner, the Landcruiser went over. After it came to a stop, my arm was caught between the road and the door. I decided I needed to get out quick, as fuel was poring out the tank over my arm, and I was also laying in it. After getting out, I found a stick with a "V" at one end, so I used it to prop my arm up to reduce blood flow while waiting for someone to come along. Spent about 3 weeks in hospital, and nice skin graft all is good.

young and invincible (pissed as a fart)i was about 26 at the time dived off a 5 foot ladder into a 4 foot swimming pool luckily i turned my head at the last second only to crack my shoulder into the bottom of the pool and do a forward barrel roll dragged myself out of the pool alls good i reckon only a sore shoulder woke up at about 5 the next morning heaps and heaps of pain ambulance to hospital guess what broken collar bone could have been worse i could have landed on my head the things we do when were pissed.

Knew a young kiwi who worked in a wool store. He showed me the 2 round 50cent piece scars one front one back.

They have automated sampling of wool bales where a hydraulic ram slowly drives a sharpish pipe through a wool bale before the machine compresses & sews up the bale.

He was a mechanic and working on the machine when someone removed the safety locks and turned her on.

He said it was really scary. It started in the back off to one side luckily and took about 30 seconds to go through ribs,lungs and other internals, then the front ribs and out the front. It then took another 30 seconds to withdraw and he fell off the last bit.

He said it was really amazing feeling his front ribs break and the thing bulged out about the size of an orange before breaking through with a sucking plop sound.

After he staggered out of the thing, the machine neatly layed out a "sausage" of his back,ribs lungs etc.

Luckily missed his spine though.

1st Co worker on the scene vomited and couldn't help, 2nd guy fainted. He had to get a plastic bag himself to put over both wounds so he could breath.

He gave up working in wool stores.

For myself nothing spectacular, just the usual broken bones (leg,( both bones) wrist, arm (twice), couple of ribs, fingers (2), collar bone all at different times), though blew myself up with and got a bit burnt.

Didn't look too bad till i tried to bend a finger and the skin cracked and started weeping. Your arm looks like mince meat when you burn all the skin off. 

This was a friend of mine, out the end of the busso jetty, and my mate was chasing a sambo along, he had cord with a size 10 shogun live squid. running down and with another mate holding the ringcaster, heap of cord out and then then the cord loops over the gap in the track and because he had the squid in his hand the hook went straight into his finger and followed the bone up to the third knuckle. he had to get his finger split open to the bone to get the thing out.

was wave jumping on jet ski off gero when i nosed dive at good speed the ski threw me over the front i ended up hitting handle bars breaking me knee cap into 7 bits and breaking my thumb. what made it worse is that i had to get back on it that was difficult. drive it back in and then drive my car home even more difficult. i ended up having a couple of ops on my knee , they put screws and wire pins and all sorts to hold it together. boy did it hurt

did this on a table saw at work back in febuary still off work with it

just tryin to suss out how to put up pictures aswell 

Got my first and hopefully only hook in my foot but unlucky it was a gang and there was two in my foot. This happended a couple of weeks ago