Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2015-12-11 06:37
Enjoy :-)
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sandbar
Posts: 704
Date Joined: 25/10/09
ironic
24 beers in a case.
Alan James
Posts: 2260
Date Joined: 30/06/09
...
And one for BJ
https://www.facebook.com/1041theedge/videos/2551869111921/
big john
Posts: 8771
Date Joined: 20/07/06
LOL
WA based manufacturer and supplier of premium leadhead jigs, fligs, bucktail jigs, 'bulletproof' soft plastic jig heads and XOS bullet jig heads.
Jigs available online in my web store!
hornet42
Posts: 179
Date Joined: 24/07/12
GPS
I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car,
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life,
It does lots more than the normal one
My Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions
On exactly how to drive,
"It's sixty k’s an hour" it says
"And you're doing sixty five"!
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake,
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green,
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front
It lists those to the rear,
And taking all this info in
It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device,
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives me advice.
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught,
So why don't I just exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house
And makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my dirty duds
And.....keeps me warm in bed!
PB Dhu 850 mm Pink 820mm
Paul H
Posts: 2104
Date Joined: 18/01/07
But it's not perfect you
But nothings ever perfect.
If I can finish off this thread
They only thing it doesn't do
Is give me lots of ........
Boom - tish
Youtube Channel - FishOnLine Productions
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbUVNa-ViyGm_FTDSv4Nqzg/videos
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Xmas
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before
Christmas.
The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and
as they had a lot to do, she called him on her
phone.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have
lots to do"
He said " You remember the jewelers we went into
about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that
diamond necklace....
I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I
would get it for you "
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she
got all choked up; "yes, I do remember that
shop" she replied.
"Well I’m in the bar next to that.
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
Deleted
Posts: 6265
Date Joined: 26/04/14
What's the perfect gift for
What's the perfect gift for someone who has everything?
Crystal Meth.
Next year they'll have nothing so they'll be so much easier to shop for
mullows
Posts: 738
Date Joined: 25/12/08
I was walking down the street
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
The Older I get the better I was :-)
Depth_Charge
Posts: 24
Date Joined: 10/01/11
^ Mullows, absolute gold
^ Mullows, absolute gold that one!!!