friday funnys
Submitted by sarey on Fri, 2013-04-26 12:56
enjoy
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i'm a newb.
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sammy85
Posts: 831
Date Joined: 31/08/10
Hahahahah
Plumber and gas fitter- 0415489103
Snags
Posts: 558
Date Joined: 07/05/09
LOL!
LOL!!! Best friday funny ever!!
JoeH
Posts: 85
Date Joined: 08/09/05
Classic!!
Had to log in just to say I literally LOLLED and nearly fell off my chair! :)
The smaller the icebox you take, the bigger the fish will be.
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Sorry to say it, but I don't
Sorry to say it, but I don't get any of them. So what's the gag? Bring back Ledge
cheers
Dale
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
MattMiller
Posts: 4171
Date Joined: 15/06/09
Umm...
read this Dale - http://fishwrecked.com/forum/landbased-mauds-broad-bar-mack
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Yeah I watched that one
Yeah I watched that one Matt, but I can't see what everyone else is seeing with my ipad.
cheers
Dale
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Checked it on my laptop at
Checked it on my laptop at here in my office and I still dont get it. Bring back Ledge.
Cheers
Dale
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
CityFlicker
Posts: 524
Date Joined: 31/01/13
If you search Cardinal's
If you search Cardinal's history you will find a thread with this photo of Cardinal holding a bartail flathead with the city behind his shoulder, clearly not Cervantes. The picture below simply says Cervantes, as in he caught the flathead at Cervantes just like his Spanglies & Mack. Thought it was pretty funny myself.
Just because I smile & nod does not mean I believe the crap coming out of your mouth.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
big john
Posts: 8766
Date Joined: 20/07/06
Gold
Gold
WA based manufacturer and supplier of premium leadhead jigs, fligs, bucktail jigs, 'bulletproof' soft plastic jig heads and XOS bullet jig heads.
Jigs available online in my web store!
Dale
Posts: 7930
Date Joined: 13/09/05
Oh, ok, I see now. I suppose
Oh, ok, I see now. I suppose I shouldn't put up a picture of the meter long Barra I caught in the Vasse River last week then.
cheers
Dale
"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."
Mr Wolf
MattMiller
Posts: 4171
Date Joined: 15/06/09
That would be fine
as long as you tell everyone that is was in Cervantes
pale ale
Posts: 1755
Date Joined: 02/01/10
Subject: Company Memo -
Subject: Company Memo - Christmas Party
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2012
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa
Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts
among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be
over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2012
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas
tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of
music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2012
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed
to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed
since the union members feel that £10.00 is too much money and the
executives believe £10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2012
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything
for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest
to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit
with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks
that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about
confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in
the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood
pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but
the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Fucking Employees
DATE: October 5, 2012
RE: The Fucking Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your fucking salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them
scream right NOW!
The rest of you fucking wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you all have a
rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from Hell!!!
Sandgroper-WA
Posts: 125
Date Joined: 27/02/11
(No subject)
anypuddle
Posts: 597
Date Joined: 22/01/12
nice
I was waiting for it....... loved the link before to fisherman 1992, what a cracker.
Anywhere anytime
outdoinit
Posts: 1009
Date Joined: 05/10/12
Little more Humour..
Subject: Irish Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children ...
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The husband said to the doctor, "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem."
"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1, 2, 3, 4, ?5," at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Queensland and Tasmania
I've spent half my life fishing.. The other half I have wasted..